Tuesday, 23 June 2009

More Paper Shredding...

(The next installment of storyboards...)

Generations later, on another dark and misty night, across the land echoes the haunting sounds of a wailing baby - or is it? Lets follow those echoes to the maternity ward of the Slice Splice and Dice Hospital where something out of the ordinary has just been born...

(*LOGO: Meat cleaver and samurai sword in a cross shape hover over a pair of cupped hands holding the Dice of Fate ('Dice of Fate' written in a scroll above them). Skull speared on top. MOTTO: 'Will this visit be your last?' All the doctors are skeletons, pirates and ghosts in white coats.)

Doctor Clive McDougal, Captain of the Hack Trap Belle:
Don't you worry Mrsh Crumble, you're in good handsh! Tell me aboot your diet if you pleash...Och, jusht wait a wee shecond there

Dr Clive McDougal: Ahh, thah's behtter, been troubling me for weeks! Now, have you consumed anything oot o' the ordinary during your pregnancy?

Mrs Crumble: Out of the ordinary you say? Why... no, not at all, only our traditional meal of shredded paper each night... It's been in the family for generations!

Mrs Crumble:...ever since Great Great Grandfather Crumble invented it accidentally in a serendipitous stroke-of-genius cookery/craft book mix-up!

Dr Clive McDougal: Ehhh. You do realise thah paper is completely devoid o' the slightest nuance o' nutrition?

Mrs Crumble: You cannot question tradition, Doctor McDougal! Traditions must be revered and respected-

Dr Clive McDougal:I am sorry to inform you that this is nae o' of them!

Dr Clive McDougal: It appears your son has...
Dr Clive McDougal: I hypothesise that your traditional dish o' Papier Mache a la Mode has altered the very genetics o' your child,

really rather...
Dr Clive McDougal: This child is a hopeless case!
Dr Clive McDougal: All the boy will be good for is doing away with your unwanted confidential papers.
On this note, the Doctor presents Mrs Crumble with her product - a whirring, mechanical beast of a thing!

Dr Clive McDougal: Your child, Mrs Crumble. What are you intending to call him?

Mrs Crumble: Well, we were thinking a nice respectable name like...Edwin Horatio Issac the Third. [pause]

Mrs Crumble: Ahh... but that doesn't seem appropriate now, does it dear...?

Mr Crumble: No, absolutely not, no, no. I think we have to allow the technology to guide us here, so it seems to me, we only have one option. The Paper Shredder Person it is!


Anonymous said...

You have no idea how into that i got. I'm sitting in the dark underneath my duvet with the glow of my laptop flickering on your story.
You're a true inspiration miss xxxx

poke me with cake next time, hehe

Emma said...

Aww, thankyou! Thats very lovely of you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)