Sunday, 30 August 2009

The engine owl

We cut to an excavation scene, in the icy tundras of MOUNT MOD MOON MONO TUTU...


...where a rather large bum is sticking up in the air...
...the bottom of a certain Sir Hugo Clarence Washington-Smythe.


ASSISTANT (IDA TWEEDLE)

Sir, look, I think... I cannot say for sure, but I do believe I have unearthed the mythical Engine Owl of Ancient Zion!




SIR HUGO CLARENCE WASHINGTON-SMYTHE

Oh, that! I discovered that, back in uh... back in uh... the day...


Sir Hugo: give it here, right this minute, or I'll have you tried for high treason and perverting the course of justice!
Sir Hugo: I'll have your wages cut, and other things cut that you wouldn't care to be... cut.

ZOLUMBOO (Narrator)

Now I'm no detective... oh wait! I am!... but I think that guy's a phoney! Wait, something important's happening, let's get back to the story!


ASSISTANT (IDA TWEEDLE)

With all due respect, Sir, you can't claim every victory!


Ida Tweedle: I found that owl fair and square, and you've spent the whole day sitting on your oversized rump, hogging the hot water bottles and moaning about the cold! From now on I will be working for myself. Hmph!

SIR HUGO CLARENCE WASHINGTON-SMYTHE

Don't talk to me like that! I'll decide how this story ends!




He takes a large dark starry book from his coat and and unlocks it with a rusty key.





Ida turns slowly, and sees the open pages like mirrors.
We see her face reflected in the mirrors and then the empty space where she once stood.


Washington-Smythe holds the book up triumphantly.

SIR HUGO CLARENCE WASHINGTON SMYTHE

Now I've trapped you, you'll never steal from me again.


Sir Hugo: You're nothing but a fictional character, doomed to spend the rest of your days in writing.

IDA TWEEDLE

[HER WORDS APPEARING AS TEXT ON THE PAGE OF THE BOOK] You can take that smug look off your face.


Ida Tweedle: Your precious artefact is with me, Washington-Smythe. The engine-owl is fictional too now.



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